Well I managed to work Monday and Tuesday mornings, but have been banned from work today by my head teacher! I went to the doctors again on Monday afternoon to be prescribed antibiotics for pleurisy – no wonder I’ve been feeling so ill. I do feel a little better than last week but still weak and pathetic. The copious amounts of sleep have been replaced with general teariness due to the constant weary state that is now frustrating the hell out of me.
I still feel incapable of writing or reading or anything that involves even the smallest amount of effort. In the same breath, however, I keep looking around the bedroom thinking of all the jobs in the house that need doing, the tidying and cleaning I wanted to have done before this weekend. I have great difficulty in relaxing, even when ill. My Head calls it ‘womanitis’. I simply cannot settle when I feel like I am abandoning responsibility or neglecting chores that seem pressing. I appreciate that none of this is important if I need to get well, and the world certainly will not end but tell this to the rising sense of panic I have in my chest! Which in itself is not helping my recovery.
I think I might write a list of all the things I seem to want to do but currently can’t. That way I can work out which items genuinely are pressing and which others can be left for another day. Hopefully that will help ease to worry that is weighing me down. Other than that a lunch round of hot buttered crumpets should make me feel a touch more alive!
Hope you are all faring better than I!!