Eugh. Yesterday was hard work. Getting back into the writing proved much harder than initially anticipated. It didn’t help that I kept ‘forgetting’ that I am still actually ill, so was randomly assaulted by dizziness, nausea and general confusion. It didn’t really help the concentration.
On pouring out the papers from my holiday folder (so named to take away, but was not actually touched!) I remembered the jarring point I was at three weeks ago. I am at a particularly crucial crux to the story line, entirely essential although quite short in length. The problem is, I hate it! I hate how it is written, I hate the character perspective, I hate how much it is needed. Before I left for Vegas, I was hoping that the time apart would allow my mind to unconsciously make its way through this section and that by the time I returned it would magically run from my fingers. It hasn’t. And I can’t really blame the cold. Or the humid heat that has barely helped with the incessant fever like sweating!
So, I thought a little therapeutic ripping up of the pages and deleting of the offending files would fix the problem. I thought this would remove the wall I repeatedly bang my head against and the oppressive resentment I have begun to cultivate for one character in particular. But it did not. I sat staring at a blank word document for quite some time. Until I realised the blank staring in itself was rather counter productive.
This caused me to have a ramble through the online world and to find entertainment elsewhere for a short time. It was then I came across The Solitary Bee. Hopefully you are aware of Philip Reeve, author of the wonderful Mortal Engines, and you may also be aware of his ‘author’s blog‘. However, you may not be aware that he is one of the co-author’s of the afore mentioned Solitary Bee. This appears to be an ‘every man’s blog’ compiled by several fellas together, on all manner of interesting tit bits. I spent quite some time reading through several posts and enjoying every inch of the website. In particular I enjoyed the post about the recently ended Dr Who series. Their writing style is thoroughly enjoyable and entrancing and I felt at times completely lost in their thoughts. This may have had something to do with the amount of paracetamol in my system at the time, but I hope not!
It was a light hearted pleasure to read through these pages, and even though I still failed to put pen to paper afterwards, the reading break certainly did its job. My head cleared a little, I no longer wanted to kill off my main character, and I felt a little rejuvenated. Philip Reeve has made a truly wonderful life doing something that he loves and must be eternally rewarding – the life that I want. Yes, I will still be teaching for many years and yes I will still find sections of books that I want to destroy even moments after they have fallen from my head, but these are my hurdles. One day I WILL have my books on the shelves, I will have titles as well known and as well loved as Philip Reeve, I will have my dream. And maybe then budding authors may stumble across my internet ramblings in a hope of breaking the deadlock. Dream big baby!