I feel like crap. After last week’s sore throat, nothing has been right. I feel horrific. The best way to describe it is as if I have the worst hangover in the world – permanently. I have attempted to smile my way through my Dad’s visit and our weekend jaunt to Swindon, but I would now like to admit defeat.
This morning I had an appointment at a Supply Agency in Sutton Coldfield. It was a lovely meeting. I thoroughly enjoyed talking about myself to the smiling lady opposite! It was almost as if I had booked in for my own career interview – everything made sense and backed up my decisions so far. I am confident I can write books well – about as confident as I can be without an actual agent, but it was interesting to weigh up all my career options with a complete stranger. I know I am making the right decision! It was a brilliant experience. However, it left me entirely drained.
After a very brief root around Sutton’s limited charity shops and a quick stop in Waterstones, all I wanted was my bed. However, I wanted to do some work. I wanted to write. But my brain won’t let me. I must have read the same paragraph over and over and not once actually read the words. I am so frustrated. I know the answer is to just shut off, to go to sleep and wake up feeling better tomorrow. But I have the impatient child syndrome – I just don’t want to shut my eyes, I might miss something!! And I spent pretty much all day yesterday in bed feeling sorry for myself.
I want to feel better. This has been over a week now of feeling entirely useless with no medicine to fix me. And to make matters worse, Steve is now poorly, as is Lucy who we visited at the weekend. I am half expecting Louise from the agency to phone me tomorrow saying I have wiped out their entire office! And the really sucky point is, I can’t even concentrate on reading “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. I am completely loving the book, but I am still a good chunk from the end. I am also aware that I haven’t shared comment on it with you yet. I have been remiss and I am sorry.
I think I am going to collapse into bed now. I promise, as soon as I am alive and kicking again, you will be the first to know! But please, bare with me while my writing is awful and my mind is mush.