Posted by: Natalie | April 7, 2010

Home Again

Hello World! I am back in Brum, back with my laptop, my blog and my writing. I have had a lovely, but eventful, few days back at home and I am quite pleased to be back in my own nest with my own mess around me! My blogging may still be a little hit and miss for the rest of this week too as Steve is off work and we are hoping to have a couple of mini adventures!

As for today though, I really need to focus! I have had some time now completely ignoring my work as it was 100 odd miles away from me, and need to find my head again. I really want to write, but it feels as if it’s elsewhere right now. It might have something to do with Steve being at home, and even though he is probably going to sleep until midday, it still somehow seems to unsettle my routine. He doesn’t get in the way – far from it, on days like these he may as well be at work, he allows me to get on with my days like normal – there is just something in my head that is distracted! Well, I will have to get over that!

It could be that part of me is still up North with my family and all the countless issues that seem to have kicked off a little over the last week or so. The fact that there is nothing at all that I can do to solve any of it, means nothing. The rational head on my shoulders understands this, but the emotional ties still make me try to resolve things. Worrying won’t help. I need to try and shake it out and trust that everything will be ok, that things happen for a reason and always work out the way they are supposed to! Besides, it’s probably not the worst thing that I am a little detached via distance – it will hopefully provide those in need of an occasional escape from the Gill-Clan madness, an opportunity to do so!

It could be the broken sleep I’ve had the last few nights – partly due to not being in my own bed and partly due to the above worrying! I don’t feel tired so much, I am just very aware that I have not slept soundly. Last night’s ‘sleep’ was filled with the most bizarre dreams about people long gone in my life, people I have not interacted with in years! Yet it was all so, so vivid. They were the type of dreams that continue to play in front of your eyes even hours after you wake. Not scary, just weird!

It could be because I am a little twitchy about the house – so many chores need doing and the garden is in desperate need of a good seeing to! A curtain rail still needs to go up and the curtains placed on it. The bed needs changing, bathroom needs cleaning, a whole host of washing up needs doing (technically Steve’s realm, but thought I would add it to my list!) and general tidying up and pottering. Am I just adding to the reasons to put off writing today?!

Maybe I need to strike a deal with myself. Maybe if I can hit, lets see – 1500 words? – today I can treat myself. Maybe I will let myself open one of the 5 easter eggs I returned with?! Or, maybe I will let myself ditch “The Scarlet Letter” (not enjoying it yet) and pick up one of the other books on the pile. I was lucky enough to have some time to go into THE BEST charity bookshop in the world – well at least in Chorley. I managed to pick up, “A Thousand Splendid Suns” By Khaled Hosseini, “We Need to Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver, “The Historian” by Elizabeth Kostova, and “The Girl Who Played with Fire” by Stig Larsson (for when I have actually located and read Dragon Tattoo) for Β£4 total! These have been added to the pile but are screaming at me to be read!

I think that’s what I will do – I will try and get some words written and then I can try and eradicate this cloudy head. I will get some words written and then maybe have a piece of chocolate egg – and ditch Nathaniel Hawthorne’s over wordy nonsense!

Yes! That’s what I will do!

Just, maybe, a little later.

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