Posted by: Natalie | March 13, 2010

I’m on Team Werewolf; Better for the Garden.

Mainly because I am sooooooooo sick of books/tv programmes/films going on and on about vampires!

One of my favourite films is ‘An Interview with a Vampire’, a wonderful dark tale of tormented eternity, betrayal, loss and deviance. And might I add, a role by Tom Cruise that does not fit into his type cast comfort zone (anyone know the Rich Hall sketch . . .).

Now, I am not saying I want to BE a werewolf, but at the moment they annoy me less. When I think of the portrayed characters of werewolves I think of Professor Lupin from Harry Potter and how his close friends rallied around him in support, learning to become animagi just so he wasn’t alone, casting aside the world and teaching an important lesson about prejudice and tolerance. Would you catch Vampire’s having such close friends?! No. Simply because they have already drained them of blood or mutated them into something similar against their will. And also, would you ever catch a vampire playing High School basket ball?! I think not! Michael J Fox, the legend, would never have lowered himself to play a coffin sleeping, garlic hating, blood sucker – too much iron in the diet.

Plus, werewolves are a very handy gardening tool. Imagine you have spent hours slaving over your new plants and seedlings only for them to be destroyed by frost! Hire yourself a werewolf and he will gladly let you know when its a clear night on a full moon! Thus allowing you to cover your pansies and sleep with ease. All a vampire is useful for is removing slugs, and they would complain bitterly about that making slug pellets a much friendlier choice.

As you can probably tell, I have precious little authority on either. Just let this torrent of vampire fever be over soon, please, I’m bored now.

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Responses

  1. Vampire books are the bane of my Waterstones existence. On the one hand, fantastic that they’re persuading young girls to read… but wouldn’t it be better if they were reading something that’s actually well written?? Plus, while the Twilight books are written for the pre-teen and teen market but by a mormon who made sure no penetration of any description – toothy or otherwise – took place, some of the other bandwagon series are completely inappropriate for younger readers, and I’m loathe to sell them to young girls.

    Also, they make the teen fiction section look really dark and ugly. Everything’s black with splashes of red or purple, featuring apples and the like. They’re messing up my shelves and taking over my dump bins, and last week they were even bumped up to take a whole 3 for 2 table to themselves!! The cheek.

    I’m on team werewolf too though – I think I have been since Oz first graced the set of Buffy. πŸ˜€


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